It's hard, it's like a knife in the gut, a literal pain she knows, to see the woman she considers her daughter in pain. And she can't make that pain go away, not like a kiss to a scraped knee or killing a Red Room agent who attacked her. This is beyond her ability to fix in any way, she isn't equipped for it.
She misses Natasha too, and she's proud of her, and she hates herself for not stepping in when she could have. And she's angry that Nat never called her for help. And she's furious that Red Room took everything from her girls and gave them a future that was destined to be filled with complexity and pain. She is so ill prepared to help with that.
Melina hadn't been prepared for hearing 'mom' or 'mommy.' How could she know the surge she would feel in her chest for her girls being hurt or being excited. They were so eager and smart and open to the world that she'd almost forgotten that the whole thing was a charade sometimes. She'd failed her mission because she'd loved her family.
"I know. I miss her too. So much it feels like part of me is gone and what's left just hurts."
From here https://crazycanoe.dreamwidth.org/1729.html?thread=289217#cmt289217
She misses Natasha too, and she's proud of her, and she hates herself for not stepping in when she could have. And she's angry that Nat never called her for help. And she's furious that Red Room took everything from her girls and gave them a future that was destined to be filled with complexity and pain. She is so ill prepared to help with that.
Melina hadn't been prepared for hearing 'mom' or 'mommy.' How could she know the surge she would feel in her chest for her girls being hurt or being excited. They were so eager and smart and open to the world that she'd almost forgotten that the whole thing was a charade sometimes. She'd failed her mission because she'd loved her family.
"I know. I miss her too. So much it feels like part of me is gone and what's left just hurts."