It takes literally biting at the inside of her cheek for Kate to stay quiet and patient when Yelena trails off. It's clear that isn't actually the end of her thought, and Kate doesn't want to interrupt or influence whatever clearly heavy thoughts Yelena's having right now or any decision she's making about sharing them.
Likewise, she does her best not to move again until Yelena does, but that's pretty immediate once she indicates she's still okay with being touched. Maybe Kate should still ask, but she can't help it, almost immediately wrapping her arms around Yelena's shoulders in turn and tugging her in tight. Thinking of what to say takes another minute, this is more than a bit more serious then any comfort Kate has practice giving, and her go to was always distraction. "Okay. Okay. I don't really know how to make you feel better about that or less worried immediately, but I won't go anywhere till you want me to, okay. I mean I'll have to go feed and walk Lucky tomorrow, but you can come with me, obviously. And whatever happened before, whatever got ruined? There's no way that was because of you. It wasn't your fault. No way."
The way she just...melts around Yelena the second she knows it's okay to touch her makes Yelena sink deeper against her. She doesn't know why this is happening, it is not like her, not usually. It's been a while since she just could not contain everything that she keeps locked down inside her mind at all times.
"I'm sorry-" she mumbles softly against the wall of the girl holding her. "I- I do not know what is wrong with me," she sniffs softly and presses her cheek against Kate's shoulder, and tries to calm her breathing.
"Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you, and you don't need to apologize for this." That, thankfully, was very easy to answer. Kate even breaks out her best firm-completely-sure voice, which might need a little work, but she is completely sure about this. Then she gives Yelena a squeeze and kisses the top of her head, both because it feels right and just in case that tone tipped things away from being comforting.
"Things get heavy, it's totally normal. You can go ahead and have a good cry, too, you don't have to stop yourself. It's okay. Better out than in might mostly be used about upset stomachs, but as a saying it definitely applies here too."
"I don't want to have one, I don't like crying!" she says in a huffy tone, but there's the tiniest edge of a laugh hidden in it, too. Definitely better than crying.
Still, she doesn't really... move away from the grip Kate still has on her. She's comfortable there, clinging to her like maybe she's the only lifeline she's got at the moment. She does ease Kate back down to the mattress with her, keeping her in place with the way she curls against her.
She settles her head against Kate's shoulder and just...stays there like that for a while. Maybe if she just lays here like this for long enough, all the bad thoughts will just go away.
Or Kate will get bored and start talking. She's not against either of these things, if she's completely honest.
"That's totally fair, too! It's up to you. Just consider it a standing offer for a shoulder to cry on, whenever." That tiny hint of a laugh feels like a win.
Even more of a win is that Yelena doesn't go anywhere, either, that they just end up laying there all snug - and that Kate managed not to say anything that made things worse while she was trying to be comforting.
Although she guesses there is still time for that. Best not to jinx it. It's not boredom that gets her rambling again, truthfully, the cuddling is enough to have her very much content, but the slightly pathological need to fill any medium to long silence persists. "I cried a couple weeks ago cause I dropped a pizza. That probably does imply there's something wrong with me, huh? I'm pretty sure Lucky shed a tear too. You can picture that, if you need to feel better about this. We were in the middle of the sidewalk and the pizza was just completely upside down on the ground and I was still holding the box and all."
She huffs a soft sound that forgot it was meant to be a laugh somewhere on its journey out of her mouth. "You are a ridiculous human being," she mumbles quietly.
"Mmm," she nudges her nose into the hollow of Kate's neck and presses closer, letting her lips brush lightly against the touch-sensitive skin there. "why do you put up with me, hm?"
That's okay, they can count it. Any not-sad sound feels like a good sign. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."
Please pardon the shiver that Kate can't actually manage to suppress at all once Yelena starts teasing her again. The sensation of that little touch deserves a cooler reaction but alas, all her body comes up with is that shiver and a dumb expression on her face. "Me, putting up with you? You know you have that completely backwards, right? There's no putting up with from my end, I am fully aware I'm lucky you want to spend any time with me at all." Let alone this kind of time.
“No…no, you…milochka…” she croons softly, a faint smile on her lips. “Darling… I am the lucky one.” She says with a soft amused huff. “I don’t- I don’t deserve you, but god, I love you, Kate Bishop…”
She reaches up to cup her cheek in her hand. “And I am so terrified of that.”
Oh. That might take the cake on surprising things that happened tonight - who would've thought the emotional upset a few minutes ago would be so quickly beaten?
Actually, that probably should have been expected. Kate had been shaking her head and, admittedly, already thinking about how to argue - in particular with that comment about not deserving this - and then, bam, L bomb, dropped. "You shouldn't - that's -"
Good god, finish a sentence. "Are you sure?"
Hell. Finish a better sentence. "You shouldn't think you don't deserve this. You deserve the world. Everything. Anything you want."
She laughs and it’s a bright and brittle sound. “I am unsure of everything, except this…” she smiles, soft and gentle, up at her.
“And this is part of the reason why…” she murmurs softly, letting her fingertips stroke lightly against her cheek. “Because I know you believe that. You really do, and I think that’s really beautiful. You can see the way my hands are stained forever, and somehow…you aren’t scared of me…”
It’s a heavy one, her past, and she knows it asks so much of people just for knowing her truths. Being with her, knowing her, it is a risk all it’s own.
"You know, I think you're probably one of the smartest people I have ever met. I mean, you're just regularly taking in so much more info from everything around you than most of the population and then sifting through it for anything useful or anything that might become useful. I can't even imagine how busy it gets up there." Kate cups the back of Yelena's head, tugging her in to press a kiss to her forehead.
"Which just makes it absolutely bonkers to me that this is what your brain has picked to be just plain wrong about. Scared of you? When I was literally just a pain in your ass, you were protecting me, and you think I should be scared of you? That just doesn't make any sense, sweetheart, I'm sorry. And as for these hands... no, I can't agree with that either. Look how gentle they are." She reaches out and cradles Yelena's free hand in between hers, tracing her fingertips over it. "Every beyond shitty thing you've been through and now here we are and they're gentle. Seems like a way more important description to me."
She smiles again, small and watery, crowding closer into the other girls space when she presses their foreheads together. “Hmm… it can be very loud sometimes, yes…” Noiseless static, most of the time.
“Call me that more, maybe? I like that…” has she ever been anyone’s sweetheart? Maybe before the Red Room, but those memories are mostly blurry.
She takes in a slow, deep breath, “You are going to make me cry, stop it.” She murmurs mostly to herself, swiping one hand under each eye.
It's really a shame for that smile to be small. Kate shifts forward just enough to kiss it, in the hopes that might make it grow a little. And also just because she can't resist, too, to be fair.
"If you like it, I will absolutely call you that more, sweetheart." Is it too much to use it again immediately? Oh, well. "I'm not trying to make you cry. If you're going to talk badly about yourself, though, I gotta tell you the truth."
Mm, that's more than a success - Kate's plan succeeded and then she got a second, deeper kiss or of it, too.
And then she gets Yelena all tucked into her again, which simultaneously is so relaxing and also gives her goosebumps and makes her heart race. The idea that she's not the lucky one here is just absurd. "We don't need to think about that. Far as I'm concerned you can stay right there for like forever."
“Oh yeah?” she mumbles against her shoulder, her lips brushing softly there, teeth grazing lightly, just enough to remind her she could bite her, if she wanted- she might really want to, but only with permission. It’s not everyone’s thing, and Yelena is so used to being whatever someone else wants of her.
She kisses a soft trail up the side of her neck, nipping light and playful at her ear. “Is that what you want? Me… right here…? Forever?” her voice drops into softer and lower whispers with every pause between her words until it’s barely audible on the last one.
Is Kate one of the ASMR tingle people? Maybe this could be even more fun than Yelena knows~
"God, you really love really love the teasing, don't you?" She would have permission - truthfully, Yelena's for about full permission to at least try whatever she wants, anything less than pleasant could be addressed right after, but it simply hasn't occurred to Kate to state that out loud as a fact.
"Um -" Actual ASMR, probably not. Yelena whispering in her ear, and using her teeth just a little, and all those light kisses? Yeah, that's causing some tingling. "Well - maybe not forever, cause I wouldn't actually really get to LOOK at you then, but..."
“Do you not like it?” she nuzzles closer into her neck, “I can stop… if you want me to…” she really hopes she doesn’t want her to stop. She will, but…she really doesn’t want to.
She chuckles lightly, a soft rumble caught in her chest, “I like you like this,” she laughs again, nipping lightly at Kate’s shoulder. “So… re-act-ive…” she over-pronounces each syllable, making sure to hit her accent harder just for that word, right into her ear.
"I like it, I like it." That reply comes so quickly, and Kate curls her fingers carefully against the back of Yelena's head, just in case saying it isn't convincing enough. "You don't need to stop."
"I can't help it. God, Yelena." That's almost a whine, but there's nothing unhappy about it.
"Oh, good, I was hoping you might say that," she grins. "A little possessive, are you?" she hums, but it's almost more of a purr in the back of her throat. "I like it..."
She lets her lips brush lightly against Kate's ear as she whispers, "You would get us caught and thrown out if we were in public right now..." But she wants to hear more of the soft little noises she can make.
"You were hoping, huh? God, that makes it better." Yelena's making sounds like that, and then talking about how Kate would be getting them kicked out of somewhere.
"We're not in public, though." Talking at any louder than a whisper just seems wrong now. "We're in your hotel room. In your bed."
Oh, that's a hilarious statement. She's still too 're-act-ive' to manage more than a quick chuckle at it before she's distracted from that and just trying to pull Yelena even closer still.
"I think that might mean you're the possessive one. I'd let you get away with a lot."
Yelena complies easily to the tug, curling somehow impossibly closer into Kate's space. "Oh, I am absolutely possessive," she laughs softly and presses a kiss into her temple, soft and lingering. She just can't get enough of her.
"Oooh, that sounds like a challenge," she chuckles softly. "Are you sure you want to make that bet, Kate Bishop?"
It's on the tip of Kate's tongue to say something along the lines of 'see? such a softie' but then Yelena's next statement makes her rethink it. Speaking of challenges... "Absolutely possessive, huh? Prove it."
And then speaking of that (surprisingly unintentional) challenge, Kate shifts just enough so Yelena can see the grin on her face and the glint in her eye, careful to not put any more distance between them than absolutely necessary. "Oh, I'm very sure. Bring it on."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Likewise, she does her best not to move again until Yelena does, but that's pretty immediate once she indicates she's still okay with being touched. Maybe Kate should still ask, but she can't help it, almost immediately wrapping her arms around Yelena's shoulders in turn and tugging her in tight. Thinking of what to say takes another minute, this is more than a bit more serious then any comfort Kate has practice giving, and her go to was always distraction. "Okay. Okay. I don't really know how to make you feel better about that or less worried immediately, but I won't go anywhere till you want me to, okay. I mean I'll have to go feed and walk Lucky tomorrow, but you can come with me, obviously. And whatever happened before, whatever got ruined? There's no way that was because of you. It wasn't your fault. No way."
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"I'm sorry-" she mumbles softly against the wall of the girl holding her. "I- I do not know what is wrong with me," she sniffs softly and presses her cheek against Kate's shoulder, and tries to calm her breathing.
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"Things get heavy, it's totally normal. You can go ahead and have a good cry, too, you don't have to stop yourself. It's okay. Better out than in might mostly be used about upset stomachs, but as a saying it definitely applies here too."
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Still, she doesn't really... move away from the grip Kate still has on her. She's comfortable there, clinging to her like maybe she's the only lifeline she's got at the moment. She does ease Kate back down to the mattress with her, keeping her in place with the way she curls against her.
She settles her head against Kate's shoulder and just...stays there like that for a while. Maybe if she just lays here like this for long enough, all the bad thoughts will just go away.
Or Kate will get bored and start talking.
She's not against either of these things, if she's completely honest.
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Even more of a win is that Yelena doesn't go anywhere, either, that they just end up laying there all snug - and that Kate managed not to say anything that made things worse while she was trying to be comforting.
Although she guesses there is still time for that. Best not to jinx it.
It's not boredom that gets her rambling again, truthfully, the cuddling is enough to have her very much content, but the slightly pathological need to fill any medium to long silence persists. "I cried a couple weeks ago cause I dropped a pizza. That probably does imply there's something wrong with me, huh? I'm pretty sure Lucky shed a tear too. You can picture that, if you need to feel better about this. We were in the middle of the sidewalk and the pizza was just completely upside down on the ground and I was still holding the box and all."
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"Mmm," she nudges her nose into the hollow of Kate's neck and presses closer, letting her lips brush lightly against the touch-sensitive skin there. "why do you put up with me, hm?"
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Please pardon the shiver that Kate can't actually manage to suppress at all once Yelena starts teasing her again. The sensation of that little touch deserves a cooler reaction but alas, all her body comes up with is that shiver and a dumb expression on her face. "Me, putting up with you? You know you have that completely backwards, right? There's no putting up with from my end, I am fully aware I'm lucky you want to spend any time with me at all." Let alone this kind of time.
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She reaches up to cup her cheek in her hand. “And I am so terrified of that.”
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Actually, that probably should have been expected. Kate had been shaking her head and, admittedly, already thinking about how to argue - in particular with that comment about not deserving this - and then, bam, L bomb, dropped. "You shouldn't - that's -"
Good god, finish a sentence. "Are you sure?"
Hell. Finish a better sentence. "You shouldn't think you don't deserve this. You deserve the world. Everything. Anything you want."
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“And this is part of the reason why…” she murmurs softly, letting her fingertips stroke lightly against her cheek. “Because I know you believe that. You really do, and I think that’s really beautiful. You can see the way my hands are stained forever, and somehow…you aren’t scared of me…”
It’s a heavy one, her past, and she knows it asks so much of people just for knowing her truths. Being with her, knowing her, it is a risk all it’s own.
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"Which just makes it absolutely bonkers to me that this is what your brain has picked to be just plain wrong about. Scared of you? When I was literally just a pain in your ass, you were protecting me, and you think I should be scared of you? That just doesn't make any sense, sweetheart, I'm sorry. And as for these hands... no, I can't agree with that either. Look how gentle they are." She reaches out and cradles Yelena's free hand in between hers, tracing her fingertips over it. "Every beyond shitty thing you've been through and now here we are and they're gentle. Seems like a way more important description to me."
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“Call me that more, maybe? I like that…” has she ever been anyone’s sweetheart? Maybe before the Red Room, but those memories are mostly blurry.
She takes in a slow, deep breath, “You are going to make me cry, stop it.” She murmurs mostly to herself, swiping one hand under each eye.
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"If you like it, I will absolutely call you that more, sweetheart." Is it too much to use it again immediately? Oh, well. "I'm not trying to make you cry. If you're going to talk badly about yourself, though, I gotta tell you the truth."
“Thank you”
“Spasibo,” she murmurs softly, burying her face in the hollow of Kate’s neck. “What would I do without you, Katyusha?”
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And then she gets Yelena all tucked into her again, which simultaneously is so relaxing and also gives her goosebumps and makes her heart race. The idea that she's not the lucky one here is just absurd. "We don't need to think about that. Far as I'm concerned you can stay right there for like forever."
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She kisses a soft trail up the side of her neck, nipping light and playful at her ear. “Is that what you want? Me… right here…? Forever?” her voice drops into softer and lower whispers with every pause between her words until it’s barely audible on the last one.
Is Kate one of the ASMR tingle people? Maybe this could be even more fun than Yelena knows~
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"Um -" Actual ASMR, probably not. Yelena whispering in her ear, and using her teeth just a little, and all those light kisses? Yeah, that's causing some tingling. "Well - maybe not forever, cause I wouldn't actually really get to LOOK at you then, but..."
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She chuckles lightly, a soft rumble caught in her chest, “I like you like this,” she laughs again, nipping lightly at Kate’s shoulder. “So… re-act-ive…” she over-pronounces each syllable, making sure to hit her accent harder just for that word, right into her ear.
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"I can't help it. God, Yelena." That's almost a whine, but there's nothing unhappy about it.
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She lets her lips brush lightly against Kate's ear as she whispers, "You would get us caught and thrown out if we were in public right now..." But she wants to hear more of the soft little noises she can make.
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"We're not in public, though." Talking at any louder than a whisper just seems wrong now. "We're in your hotel room. In your bed."
"Wait, are you saying you'd do this in public?"
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She nods, which just makes nuzzling into the other girl a lot easier. "Oh, absolutely.... if you'd let me get away with it."
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"I think that might mean you're the possessive one. I'd let you get away with a lot."
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"Oooh, that sounds like a challenge," she chuckles softly. "Are you sure you want to make that bet, Kate Bishop?"
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And then speaking of that (surprisingly unintentional) challenge, Kate shifts just enough so Yelena can see the grin on her face and the glint in her eye, careful to not put any more distance between them than absolutely necessary. "Oh, I'm very sure. Bring it on."
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Darling, baby, etc
my very unmatching icons compared to yours keep making me laugh
lmao I’m so srs if you want any of these random stock picture icons, steal them 😂
😁 thank you, I might end up doing that
Np! 💕
❤️
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