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"But that's my favorite part," she says, a pout both in her voice and on her face.

She squints into the silence that Kate lets build and build and... "Did you forget how to speak? Did I break you? I mean, at least you're not a robot and unaware of it- I heard that happens sometimes. Can you imagine?"

"Oh, I don't know. It was full when I started-" at least a third of the bottle seems to have disappeared since then. "I'll watch anything. Whatever you want." Yelena smooths her hand up Kate's thigh, leaning close to whisper in her ear, "I'm not going to be paying attention to the tv anyway... Kate Bishop."

Did she forgot how to speak? No, Kate would probably have to change her name and at least half of her identity if that happened. Did she use up about the absolute last of her verbal self control on not blurting out 'oh my god, she just checked me out. we're in a BED in a hotel room and she just checked me out,' yes, yes she did.

"Might be a little bit broken, yeah. You have a very brain-breaking effect." She does the hand gesture for a little, and then tosses the remote somewhere off the side of the bed. Or the cloud. "Not picking a movie. I think I would literally have to be insane to spend any time looking at the tv when you're right here -" another gesture "- seriously, have you seen you? And you're doing the looking and the touching and the whispering which is definitely not legal, by the way, forget the movie. Come here. Can I kiss you?"

"Do I?" she laughs, it's a soft thing, a little rough at the edges. "How so?" she asks, tilting her head slightly to get a better look at her. "Be detailed..." she winks.

She laughs again, it's a little bit of a huskier sound this time, "It's not to watch, it's so there's a little bit of a noise buffer between us and the neighbors..."

"I was beginning to think you were never going to try," she grins and leans in lightly brushing her lips against Kate's. Only that soft, little tease, and then she stops, smiling.

That's just not going to cut it - and replies to any of those questions or statements will have to wait. Teasing would not be the right word to describe the kiss Kate tugs her back in for, shifting to cup Yelena's face in her hands, although she does still try her best not to push.

Well. Maybe not exactly her best. Hopefully it doesn't come across as pushy to take her time and be thorough, or to linger and really make sure it's committed to memory.

The noise buffer thing is a good idea, oops, but Kate is far from interested in letting go to retrieve the remote again right this minute, so she's just going to skip that. "'Be detailed.' You know exactly what you're doing, and you know it's working, too."

Yelena missed out on a lot of things, growing up the way she did. Who is she to know what the hell a normal friendship, or relationship, or friends-with-benefits-ship this thing with Kate is actually looks like, anyway?

Pushy isn't really going to hurt anything she's doing right now. She hums softly into the archer's mouth, her fingers looping gently around one wrist. Not to stop her, Yelena doesn't mind her fingers curling against her cheek. Only to keep some point of contact with her.

"As long as it is working..." she laughs softly against Kate's mouth. "Please... I'll be good if you tell me..." she slides her fingers up to tangle in her hair.

Maybe she just likes listening to Kate ramble.
It's not her fault she's cute when she gets on a rant.

"You'll be good - god. What would you do if I don't tell you, then?" She doesn't go all silent and staring again, but her imagination does run off with that sentence a little bit. It's really very easy to picture Yelena in a halo, and Kate thinks she could probably make an argument for that mental image alone to count as a miracle.

And if that's not how miracles work, it should be.

"Okay. Okay, sure, whatever you want. I'll tell you anything you want. Remind me what you had asked, though?" It's just a shame she can't keep kissing Yelena as much, while she's talking, but Kate can make it work - she'll use kisses as punctuation, or thoughtful pauses, or whatever else she can come up with.

"You said I have a brain-breaking effect on you," she trails her fingers through her hair, twisting the ends between her fingers gently. "I want to know all the details of that..."

She smiles softly up at her. "I like you from this angle, we should do this more often."

"Oh, there's no way it's just on me. I mean, you've looked in a mirror, right? I know you've got all those spy skills so you're obviously totally capable of not being looked at when you don't want to be even though it doesn't make any logical sense to me that everyone in a room isn't constantly looking at you if you're there too. There's no way that anyone who does get to catch a glimpse of you doesn't find themselves unable to think for a minute, is the main point. And if you talk? No one stands a chance. No way. I do not understand how you make my name sound like that. That whisper earlier? Seriously, there's no way that's legal. Fighting dirty, that move. Which, y'know. Not complaining. So not complaining. If I had any ability to think straight already, poof, gone, instantly." Not quite all the details, yet, but it's a start - complete with a little fake explosion noise from Kate at the end, in case it wasn't properly illustrated what it seemed like in her head.

And then a very big soft smile in response to that. "Hey, any time. You can see me from whatever angle you want whenever you want."

Oh, there she goes. It’s fascinating the way the words just keep going. Even when it seems like she might stop, she doesn’t. Her words continue to roll right out of her mouth at a pace so quick she can barely keep up with it herself. “What is it about my voice…? It’s the accent, yes? People in America, they love them, don’t they…?”

“I promise I have not yet done a single illegal thing with you tonight.” she lets a low chuckle rumble through her chest. “Not yet, at least.” She tilts her head back with the laugh that bubbles up with that thought.

Yelena pouts up at her, “Oh, you do not know how dangerous an invitation like that is, you know…”

"It's - well, I have no idea what it is. The accent's part of it, yeah, but it's not... there's something else you're doing that I can't figure out cause the tracksuit guys did the full name thing sometimes too and it was just weird." Thankfully weird, the idea of that is enough to prompt a full body grimace.

Oh, look at that. Maybe that head tilt wasn't meant as an invitation, but it certainly looks like one. Kate dips her head and nuzzles into Yelena's neck, pressing a few - okay, more than a few - slow kisses there.

"Yeah, don't care." Hopefully this is audible, cause she isn't really lifting her head to speak. "You want it in writing? Engraved? I can do that."

"Well, you're calling them the tracksuit guys, milochka," her fingers curl against the curve of Kate's cheek. "if they were not weird, I think they are failing." she laughs softly.

Maybe it wasn't intentionally such an invitation, but she won't hear Yelena making a fuss, except that surprised gasp she just earned herself. Her fingers wind through Kate's hair, a soft, pleased hum in her throat. "More... more of that would be nice," she mumbles against the archer's temple, her lips pressing softly there.

"No," she says through a laugh, shifting only enough to let Kate get more comfortable. "no evidence..." she almost purrs the words in Kate's ear, but then her words are a barely audible whisper which Kate probably won't understand, even if she can hear every word. "Я тоже не могу потерять тебя."

That's a valid point, but it's just not quite important enough to keep talking about. She does want to ask what that word was - if that was a pet name, holy shit, AGAIN - but it's going on the maybe-revisit-later list.

Really, anything before that surprised gasp is immediately unimportant, and there is simply no convincing Kate that her priorities are in any way wrong here. "You can have more of whatever you want."

Okay, maybe she would have no argument against it if Yelena happens to know the word simp and decided to toss it out right now, but whatever. Hardly actually an insult, and Kate didn't want to budge anyways. Right here she can trail kisses right over that work of art jawline, down to Yelena's pulse, and back again. And she's well placed to do a little whispering of her own. It's not quite as exciting or interesting sounding - "I have no idea what you just said. What's that mean?"

“Oh, that IS good to know,” she bites her lip at the swirl of thoughts that tag along with the idea.

She hums a long, softly drawn out note and shakes her head. “No… not today,” she denies her, a little pout crossing her face at the way it makes the features in Kate’s face shift, something confused and curious at once. “But I will tell you… one day.”

“Do not worry,” she smiles softly up at her. “It’s not bad… I promise.” she lets her finger slo o w ly wind a strand of dark curl around her finger. “Why can’t we just be this…? And only this…” the smile on her lips is weak and watery, barely held in place on her face before she feels all of her features crumble under the weight of—

Whatever this is.
This golden, bright thing Yelena is terrified to name.

“You have to stay…” she murmurs softly, her thumb sliding gently across the high arch of Kate’s cheek. “Please… say you will stay… here, with me…

Oh - okay, so that wasn't just flirting in another language to mix it up, clearly. Okay. Kate can keep up, probably.

Maybe. Well, she'll try, at least.

Her turn to put her hand over Yelena's on her face, squeezing her fingers both in an attempt to be comforting and to keep her from pulling away as Kate shifts back, frowning and concerned herself now, just enough to see the rest of Yelena's face. "Hey, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere, I don't care if you tell me, I didn't think it was anything bad. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. And I mean, if you want to roast me in Russian while we're doing this, that's fine. Not going to run me off, I'm not going anywhere. It's okay."

"No," she chokes on the word and clears her throat around the sound of it, tilting her head back to blink away what's tried to escape. "No, you don't understand..."

She squirms, a shift of discomfort not at Kate or anything she's saying, but at the situation as a whole. At not being able to run from all the things she does not want to face.

Yelena just shakes her head, no words this time, and folds her arms around the other girl's middle, and it takes a long, silent moment for her to find her voice again. "Everything good in my life gets ruined... falls apart or is taken away from me, used against me..." Her words are thick on her tongue, "I don't want you to be ruined because of me."

It takes literally biting at the inside of her cheek for Kate to stay quiet and patient when Yelena trails off. It's clear that isn't actually the end of her thought, and Kate doesn't want to interrupt or influence whatever clearly heavy thoughts Yelena's having right now or any decision she's making about sharing them.

Likewise, she does her best not to move again until Yelena does, but that's pretty immediate once she indicates she's still okay with being touched. Maybe Kate should still ask, but she can't help it, almost immediately wrapping her arms around Yelena's shoulders in turn and tugging her in tight. Thinking of what to say takes another minute, this is more than a bit more serious then any comfort Kate has practice giving, and her go to was always distraction. "Okay. Okay. I don't really know how to make you feel better about that or less worried immediately, but I won't go anywhere till you want me to, okay. I mean I'll have to go feed and walk Lucky tomorrow, but you can come with me, obviously. And whatever happened before, whatever got ruined? There's no way that was because of you. It wasn't your fault. No way."

The way she just...melts around Yelena the second she knows it's okay to touch her makes Yelena sink deeper against her. She doesn't know why this is happening, it is not like her, not usually. It's been a while since she just could not contain everything that she keeps locked down inside her mind at all times.

"I'm sorry-" she mumbles softly against the wall of the girl holding her. "I- I do not know what is wrong with me," she sniffs softly and presses her cheek against Kate's shoulder, and tries to calm her breathing.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you, and you don't need to apologize for this." That, thankfully, was very easy to answer. Kate even breaks out her best firm-completely-sure voice, which might need a little work, but she is completely sure about this. Then she gives Yelena a squeeze and kisses the top of her head, both because it feels right and just in case that tone tipped things away from being comforting.

"Things get heavy, it's totally normal. You can go ahead and have a good cry, too, you don't have to stop yourself. It's okay. Better out than in might mostly be used about upset stomachs, but as a saying it definitely applies here too."

"I don't want to have one, I don't like crying!" she says in a huffy tone, but there's the tiniest edge of a laugh hidden in it, too. Definitely better than crying.

Still, she doesn't really... move away from the grip Kate still has on her. She's comfortable there, clinging to her like maybe she's the only lifeline she's got at the moment. She does ease Kate back down to the mattress with her, keeping her in place with the way she curls against her.

She settles her head against Kate's shoulder and just...stays there like that for a while. Maybe if she just lays here like this for long enough, all the bad thoughts will just go away.

Or Kate will get bored and start talking.
She's not against either of these things, if she's completely honest.

"That's totally fair, too! It's up to you. Just consider it a standing offer for a shoulder to cry on, whenever." That tiny hint of a laugh feels like a win.

Even more of a win is that Yelena doesn't go anywhere, either, that they just end up laying there all snug - and that Kate managed not to say anything that made things worse while she was trying to be comforting.

Although she guesses there is still time for that. Best not to jinx it.
It's not boredom that gets her rambling again, truthfully, the cuddling is enough to have her very much content, but the slightly pathological need to fill any medium to long silence persists. "I cried a couple weeks ago cause I dropped a pizza. That probably does imply there's something wrong with me, huh? I'm pretty sure Lucky shed a tear too. You can picture that, if you need to feel better about this. We were in the middle of the sidewalk and the pizza was just completely upside down on the ground and I was still holding the box and all."

She huffs a soft sound that forgot it was meant to be a laugh somewhere on its journey out of her mouth. "You are a ridiculous human being," she mumbles quietly.

"Mmm," she nudges her nose into the hollow of Kate's neck and presses closer, letting her lips brush lightly against the touch-sensitive skin there. "why do you put up with me, hm?"

That's okay, they can count it. Any not-sad sound feels like a good sign. "Yeah. Yeah, I am."

Please pardon the shiver that Kate can't actually manage to suppress at all once Yelena starts teasing her again. The sensation of that little touch deserves a cooler reaction but alas, all her body comes up with is that shiver and a dumb expression on her face. "Me, putting up with you? You know you have that completely backwards, right? There's no putting up with from my end, I am fully aware I'm lucky you want to spend any time with me at all." Let alone this kind of time.

“No…no, you…milochka…” she croons softly, a faint smile on her lips. “Darling… I am the lucky one.” She says with a soft amused huff. “I don’t- I don’t deserve you, but god, I love you, Kate Bishop…”

She reaches up to cup her cheek in her hand. “And I am so terrified of that.”

Oh. That might take the cake on surprising things that happened tonight - who would've thought the emotional upset a few minutes ago would be so quickly beaten?

Actually, that probably should have been expected. Kate had been shaking her head and, admittedly, already thinking about how to argue - in particular with that comment about not deserving this - and then, bam, L bomb, dropped. "You shouldn't - that's -"

Good god, finish a sentence. "Are you sure?"

Hell. Finish a better sentence. "You shouldn't think you don't deserve this. You deserve the world. Everything. Anything you want."

She laughs and it’s a bright and brittle sound. “I am unsure of everything, except this…” she smiles, soft and gentle, up at her.

“And this is part of the reason why…” she murmurs softly, letting her fingertips stroke lightly against her cheek. “Because I know you believe that. You really do, and I think that’s really beautiful. You can see the way my hands are stained forever, and somehow…you aren’t scared of me…”

It’s a heavy one, her past, and she knows it asks so much of people just for knowing her truths. Being with her, knowing her, it is a risk all it’s own.

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I can't lose you, too.

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