And I always will be. You can trust that. Yes, I do not want to hurt you, but... in my opinion, given our histories, lying would be more harmful in the end.
It’s okay, I get it. I can do that about things sometimes, too. It is a very specific and narrow view the both of us have of the world at large. We can always talk things through, though, any time you want or need to.
I feel like you handle it so much better than I do. And I know it's not because you have a different experience, but you're just bright and alive despite it all. And here I am, being such a downer, getting stuck up here for reasons I should be able to move past.
And it's hard for me to talk about because it sounds so terrible.
After our respective captured with our agencies, I was technically more socialized than you. Not in good ways, necessarily, Dreykov did like putting us girls against each other just as much as he wanted to make sure we could work in tandem as units. But until you became close to me… until we broke out, you were so much more isolated.
I am not laying excuses at your feet, solnyshko, but it is an understandable thing that sometimes the social situations are more overwhelming for you, in my opinion. Moving past things is not easy. And you have come so far from before. Don’t discourage yourself.
Words are hard. Explaining feelings is even worse. But I can listen. And I will not judge you. I love you, moy soldat. I would do anything for you.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
zvi
no subject
Date: 2024-11-30 02:23 am (UTC)But I also know you don't wanna hurt me, and maybe you think that will.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-30 02:55 pm (UTC)Yes, I do not want to hurt you, but... in my opinion, given our histories, lying would be more harmful in the end.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-30 06:40 pm (UTC)You're right.
I just worry, I guess. It gets stuck inside my head.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 07:29 pm (UTC)It’s okay, I get it. I can do that about things sometimes, too.
It is a very specific and narrow view the both of us have of the world at large.
We can always talk things through, though, any time you want or need to.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-05 07:43 pm (UTC)I feel like you handle it so much better than I do. And I know it's not because you have a different experience, but you're just bright and alive despite it all.
And here I am, being such a downer, getting stuck up here for reasons I should be able to move past.
And it's hard for me to talk about because it sounds so terrible.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-06 04:47 pm (UTC)I like it.
After our respective captured with our agencies, I was technically more socialized than you.
Not in good ways, necessarily, Dreykov did like putting us girls against each other just as much as he wanted to make sure we could work in tandem as units.
But until you became close to me… until we broke out, you were so much more isolated.
I am not laying excuses at your feet, solnyshko, but it is an understandable thing that sometimes the social situations are more overwhelming for you, in my opinion. Moving past things is not easy. And you have come so far from before. Don’t discourage yourself.
Words are hard. Explaining feelings is even worse.
But I can listen. And I will not judge you.
I love you, moy soldat. I would do anything for you.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-07 01:21 am (UTC)I know you're right- and I'm lucky to have you.
I'm sorry you have to talk me off a ledge like this. But I promise I'll try to stop discouraging myself.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-08 09:14 pm (UTC)And I, you. Even if you do not always believe it. I would not be who I am without you.
You would do the same for me.
I know it is easier said than done. But trying is all I ask.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-08 11:58 pm (UTC)That's definitely true for me too.
I would. I'd do anything for you.
I really will try my best. Thanks for helping me.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-11 08:58 am (UTC)I know you would.
Of course. You can always talk to me.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 01:32 am (UTC)Let's go out and do something. I'm feeling better about it now.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 06:55 am (UTC)Have you ever been rollerskating?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-12 09:48 pm (UTC)All I know about rollerskating is that in 1937 there was a bus carrying a roller derby team that caught on fire and 20 people died.
...but I've been ice skating before.
thank you, my soldier;
Date: 2024-12-20 06:51 pm (UTC)Oh my god, really? That's terrible...
Ohhh, I haven't been ice skating in sssooo long. It would be fun, right?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-22 04:21 am (UTC)It could be fun. You've gotta bundle me up though, cause you know how much I hate the cold.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-26 12:25 pm (UTC)Do not worry, I will bundle you up the most.
Just have to leave you enough mivesbility you can still skate.